For Now
by TheKittyPaw
Summary: BRITTANA 2-shot - The halls of my new school seemed so endlessly dead. I knew I had the potential to be exactly what I wanted, I could rule the school like I used to do at McKinley. I could be the queen. They knew nothing. But yet, here I was walking down the halls without the same pride as I used to, remembering, savoring the last conversations I had had with the girl I loved...
1. Chapter 1

**For now**

The halls of my new school seemed so endlessly dead. I knew I had the potential to be exactly what I wanted, I could rule the school like I used to do at McKinley. I could be the queen. Nobody here knew that I was a lesbian or that I was in glee club or that I was totally miserable. They didn't know the want I felt when I saw a face on the cover of a CD, they didn't know how badly I wanted my name seen on one of those.

They knew nothing. But yet, here I was walking down the halls without the same pride as I used to, remembering, savoring the last conversations I had had with the girl I loved. She was my everything. I remember walking down the halls of McKinley, my head held high and my best smirk curling my lips as people parted to make way for me. Forever by my side, linked to me physically by my pinky in hers, was Brittany.

Then came the commercial and I sunk to the bottom of the pyramid, but still none of it mattered. I had her by my side, and she was no longer just my best friend and hook-up. She was my _girlfriend_. Saying the word, even thinking about it made my stomach summersault. I felt my otherwise pursed lips curl upwards, her face, her smile, her glistening eyes and golden hair appearing before me. I felt myself blush as her voice whispered sweet nothings in my ear, like she had done so many times, waking me up with the sound of her voice, lulling me to sleep with it, directing my every movement with the bare presence of her.

But she was still in Lima. I had failed her. And this was my punishment. The blush still tintin my cheeks I felt my smile fade and my eyes mist up as I glided my left hand under my right and linked the pinkies; my punishment for having failed her, for leaving her. I'd told Mercedes once that I'd never leave Britt, never, not even switch Glee clubs without her. I looked down at the cover for my computer. It was still covered in words that Britt and I had scribbled a few days before departure. I just missed her so much and I'd frequently considered just going home. College was still here next year. But she'd want me to keep going; she'd want me to make something of myself. She'd hate herself for having made me wait for her.

"Hey Lopez, nice Dino" one of the guys, another freshman I believe, called at me. I tightened the grip around my pinkies. How dared he. Britt had given me that when she gave me the corsage at our senior prom. I didn't care if I was eighteen and had a keychain with a plush dinosaur. It was one of my most prized possessions that Britt had given me. She'd also given me my other keychain; a big silver B. She'd given it to me back in 2nd grade, the year before we got our bracelets. I hated my coach. She was nice, but she'd never let me wear the bracelet, worrying about it hurting me if I fell. So for time being it rested under my pillow, keeping the nightmares away. The third possession which I always carried with me was a simple picture taken in sophomore year. I had gotten it from Kurt at the start of senior year and it had hung in my locker ever since. Britt and I were smiling like nothing could ever hurt us. Mom had given me a choice, where to go. I chose Brittany, any day, in a heartbeat I'd always choose her. So if me going here and making something of myself was what she wanted, then I would. I'd do it for her, so that one day, I could provide for her, like any man could.

I'll have to hold my own pinky for now.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the longest drive I'd ever been on, or at least that's how it felt. Actually the distance between Lima and Louisville wasn't that big, but it seemed endless when the one you loved, the one in so much pain, was where I was headed. I had caused this misery. I'd made her love me and then I'd sent her away to a place where she didn't really wanted to be. I could hear it in the occasional crack in her voice, the longing, the agony, but yet she stayed. She did it for me.

After what seemed like days, maybe even months I arrived at the University of Louisville. It was perhaps three times as big as McKinley, maybe even bigger, and I had trouble finding my way around a school I actually knew. How was I supposed to find her in this mess? I'll tell you how. Somehow, no matter what Santana and I did, we somehow always found each other. Wherever we'd go, we'd always end up together. Instinct.

Carefully – very carefully because Quinn had just gotten this car – I parked the silver Ford Fiesta in one of the empty lots. Okay, now where would she be? I walked slowly towards the entrance when I discovered a map hanging on the side of what looked like the main building.

"_I want to shine like the star I am"_

Her voice rang in my ears as I tried to figure out where she would be; the dramatic arts building, of course. She was a star, my star. She would sing to me whenever I was being panda and she would make everything better with every word she sang. I needed her, forever she was my other half, and I think it was as much my own selfishness conquering me as I walked towards a giant red-brick building.

"Excuse me miss" a male voice said behind me. I turned and saw a tall man looking at me with a gentle smile. "Can I help you?"

"No thank you sir, I'm merely looking for my girlfriend" I answered him. I noticed the usual flash of confusion at the word girlfriend. I didn't care. Santana was my girlfriend and I was damn proud. I didn't care what they thought about me, I just wanted to love her.

"Oh, what's her name?" he asked kindly. The confusion was gone, replaced by a genuine benevolence. That was my gift; not dancing or singing, but the ability to tell the emotion in people's eyes, in the way they smiled, in a twitch of an eyebrow. I could dance and sing and even act to a certain point, and they came to me naturally, but I still had to train to improve. But my knowledge about people and their feelings had been what had saved me so many times.

"Santana; uh, Santana Lopez. She's a freshman – a cheerleader" I explained.

"Oh yes, clever girl. She's in my English class. I think looking in there is a good idea, she had multiple classes in there from what I hear. She's a very talented singer, that girl of yours" He said. So he was a teacher – good to know.

"Yeah, that's my San." I said in awe. "Well, I've got to find her, so if you don't mind, I'll be going now"

"That's quite alright Miss…"

"Brittany. Call me Brittany" I said and shook his outstretched hand. He smiled.

"Take care Brittany" he said and then he was off, towards what I believed to be the main building. Whoever said that there weren't any nice teachers? I got back to my mission; finding Santana – bringing her home. I had to make right what I had done wrong. As I walked down the halls of the building, the people seemed to fade into the dusty blue walls, the minute I'd confirmed that none of them were my girl. I turned a corner, scratching my head as I tried to decide which way to go now.

There she was – right there in the middle of the hallway – looking mistily at the surroundings, clutching her computer cover in her arms, the Dinosaur dangling slightly at the edge. I saw how she held her hands, her left under her right and her pinkies locked as a silent comfort. Despite the sad reminder of what I felt I had forced her to do – to leave me – I felt my lips curl into a smile none the less at the sight of her. She stopped dead in her tracks, her empty eyes suddenly wide and clouded with tears. For a long moment we both just stood there, unsure of what to do.

Tryingly I opened my mouth. "Hey Santana" I said. Her eyes darted between mine as she tried to figure out whether she was dreaming or not. Daringly, almost afraid, she took a step forwards and confirmed that I wasn't going to disappear. She then broke into a run, releasing one hand from the grasp on her computer. Jumped and almost made me topple as tears streamed down her cheeks. I felt how she locked her arms and legs around me and buried her head in my hair, sobbing furiously. Trying to hold her steady, I let one hand tangle in her hair and the other support her back as she hugged me as tightly as she could with her computer still dangling from one hand. She gripped at my shirt with the other as she managed to choke out a few words.

"I missed you so much… Don't ever let me leave again, Britt"

I let my hands stroke her back and her hair calmingly whispering sweet nothings. She tightened her hold on me using both arms and legs to hold me as tight as she could.

"I don't belong here, Britt" she said shakily and I felt how she loosened her grip around my neck to look me in the eyes. I smiled up at her and wiped her tears away with my thumb. She let out a nervous giggle and pressed her forehead to mine.

"I'm so glad you're here" she whispered. I smiled in response. People always said that I didn't say much, but that was mostly because I didn't feel the need. Whatever I could say to Santana right now wouldn't matter. She could read me the same way I could read her, because somehow we were the same, even if we were so different.

I worried for a second whether or not I could kiss her. I didn't really know if she was out or not here. Like if I had expressed my worry audibly she nodded against my forehead, permitting me to lean forwards. I did so, tilting my head slightly, I let my lips press gently to hers. Content, excitement, longing and electricity boiled up inside me in that one perfect kiss as I sighed against her lips. She smiled into the kiss and tightened her arms around my neck again, pressing her lips hard against mine. I don't know how long I stood here, carrying her as her lips moved against mine, as if it had been forever since our last kiss, or like this _was_ our last kiss. I ignored the back of my mind informing me that people were wolf-whistling around us. I didn't care; I let the world disappear. Only she and I were left on this god forsaken planet, and she was the only thing I'd ever need. I think I'd survive without oxygen if I had her; I was so sure of it.

Finally she broke the kiss, breathing heavily, letting her nose nuzzle against mine as her forehead once again had come to rest on mine. She smiled at me, her eyes teary and glinting happily.

"Let's get you home" I said quietly.

"I am"

"What?"

"Home… With you" she said and pressed her lips to mine again. I chuckled under the kiss and tapped her thigh informing her that I couldn't hold on to her much longer. She kept moving her lips against mine, even as she unlocked her legs and let her feet touch the ground again. I let both hands cup her face.

When we broke apart again I remembered her gesture of self-comfort and took her pinky in mine. She giggled slightly at the childish motion and unhooked them, only to tangle her fingers with mine, clasping my hand tightly.

We said nothing, because nothing was necessary, connected by our twined hands. She started walking and led me back outside, into the sunshine that had broken free of the otherwise heavy clouds.

I didn't know where we would go, or what she would do, but this was enough for now.


End file.
